20 Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior
The 20 Most Shocking Examples Of Pathological Narcissism You'll Ever See
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| 20 Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior |
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy. People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. However, behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Understanding the signs of narcissistic behavior can help you recognize it in others and protect yourself from its harmful effects. This article will provide 20 of the most shocking and extreme examples of narcissistic behavior, to help shed light on this highly toxic personality trait.
1. Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
The most telltale sign of narcissistic behavior is an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissists think extremely highly of themselves and their abilities, often exaggerating their accomplishments and claiming perfection. They feel they are uniquely gifted and can only be understood by other "special" people. However, these grandiose fantasies are often a compensation for deep-seated insecurities. The narcissist's self-esteem is dependent on external praise and recognition because it is so fragile. They are too insecure to acknowledge any flaws and react strongly to criticism, which shatters their deluded self-image.
An example of this grandiosity is the narcissistic CEO who claims to be solely responsible for their company's success, while downplaying the hard work of employees. Or the social media influencer who thinks they are the most beautiful, stylish, and enviable person, while editing their photos to perfection. These exaggerated feelings of self-worth often mask low self-esteem and vulnerability.
2. Sense of Entitlement
Along with their grandiose sense of self, narcissists have an overblown sense of entitlement. They firmly believe the rules don't apply to them and expect preferential treatment from others without hesitation. Narcissists often display entitled behaviors like cutting lines, breaking rules, and demanding exceptions because they consider themselves more important. They don't believe they should have to wait like "ordinary" people.
A narcissistic friend who always runs late but expects you to be ready and waiting for them is exhibiting their sense of entitlement. Or the arrogant customer who berates servers and makes unreasonable demands. These entitled behaviors stem from the narcissist's belief they deserve special privileges due to their imagined self-importance. Their needs and desires are more important than anyone else's in their minds.
3. Requires Excessive Admiration
Narcissists have an insatiable appetite for praise and glory. Their sense of self depends on constant external validation, so they need others to continually prop up their egos. They expect excessive admiration from those around them and often fish for compliments. However, no amount of praise or positive feedback ever seems to satisfy their need for validation.
A narcissistic partner who constantly demands reassurance of being loved is looking to boost their fragile self-esteem. Or the social media addict who posts daily selfies, carefully curating their image to seek validation through likes and comments. These vain attempts to gain admiration underscore the narcissist's shaky inner foundations. Their exaggerated self-image belies an empty inner void, which no praise can ever fill.
4. Takes Advantage of Others
Lacking in empathy, narcissists frequently exploit and take advantage of other people for their own gain. They use manipulation tactics to get what they want, like guilt trips, threats, and emotional blackmail. Others are either useful pawns to serve the narcissist's self-interest or threats to their delusions of grandeur. Narcissists have no qualms about using people or casting them aside when they are no longer of value.
For example, the narcissistic friend who constantly borrows money but never repays it, knowing you'll extend them credit again. Or the toxic partner who threatens to leave or harm themselves if you try to break up, using fear to control you. These exploitative behaviors stem from the narcissist's disregard for others and relentless pursuit of ego gratification above all else. People are merely tools for the narcissist to get their needs met.
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| Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior |
5. Lack of Empathy
One of the hallmark traits of narcissism is a stunning lack of empathy. Narcissists struggle to understand or share the feelings of others because they are completely self-absorbed. They dismiss emotions as weakness and care little about how their behaviors affect people. Their sole focus is fulfilling their own desires and agenda.
This lack of empathy leads narcissists to frequently say hurtful, insensitive things without realizing their impact. For example, mocking someone's insecurities or grief. Or the narcissistic parent who discourages their child's emotions and calls them overly sensitive. The narcissist's emotional numbness often inflicts deep wounds on those closest to them.
6. Feels Victimized
Narcissists often portray themselves as victims in situations where they have clearly done wrong. They refuse to take accountability for their harmful actions, instead blaming others and making excuses for their behaviors. Playing the victim is a defense mechanism against the narcissist's fragile ego, shielding them from blame and painful emotions like guilt or shame.
For instance, the cheating spouse who accuses their partner of neglect, to justify their infidelity. Or the abusive parent who claims their child provoked them to violence. The narcissist believes the rules don't apply to them, so they can do no wrong. When forced to face consequences, they see themselves as martyrs being persecuted. In reality, they often victimize others with their actions.
7. Craves Control
Narcissists have an insatiable need to exert control over people and situations. This stems from their deeply rooted insecurities, which make them seek constant validation of their importance. Controlling behaviors like micromanagement, possessiveness, and manipulation help narcissists regulate their fragile self-esteem by placing others in a subordinate position.
Some examples are the narcissistic partner who tracks their spouse's movements or isolates them from friends and family. Or the narcissistic coworker who takes credit for others' work and spreads rumors to maintain their status. The narcissist's desire for control often leads to abusive and authoritarian behaviors. It is a means of dominating people to serve their ego.
8. Hypersensitive to Criticism
Narcissists have zero tolerance for criticism of any kind, even constructive feedback. Their grandiose self-image is so fragile, it shatters at the slightest critique or perceived insult. Anything that contradicts their inflated sense of self is deeply threatening to a narcissist, triggering intense rage, humiliation, and vulnerability. They are unable to differentiate between personal attacks and objective observations.
For instance, the narcissistic friend who erupts in anger if you point out their insensitive behavior. Or the vindictive boss who punishes employees who voice concerns. These hypersensitive responses are defense mechanisms, protecting the narcissist's weak ego which cannot handle challenges to their deluded perfection.
9. Projection of Flaws Onto Others
Narcissists frequently project their own flaws and unflattering qualities onto other people. This allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their own shortcomings by making others the scapegoat. For example, an unfaithful partner accusing their spouse of cheating. Or a cruel person calling others abusive. This projection is a psychological defense mechanism stemming from the narcissist's inability to admit imperfection or accept blame.
By projecting unwanted aspects of themselves onto others, narcissists can continue believing in their own perfection and superiority. Deep down, they may be aware of their flaws at some level, but cannot face the truth that would shatter their inflated self-image. Projection allows them to maintain their delusions.
10. Envious of Others
Despite their grandiose sense of superiority, narcissists often feel intensely envious of others. If another person receives validation or success which the narcissist craves for themselves, it provokes spite, resentment, and jealousy. Rather than feel happy for people, narcissists become bitter that the glory was "stolen" from them.
For example, the friend who belittles your accomplishments and makes snide remarks when you get praised. Or the partner who downplays your promotions at work, fearing it will make you "better" than them. Narcissists cannot stand when the attention is off of them, even for a moment. This reveals the deep insecurity underlying their boastful exteriors.
11. Emotionally Void
There is often an eerie emotional emptiness to narcissists. They seem aloof, cold, and disconnected, lacking the range of emotions of psychologically healthy people. Emotions represent vulnerability which narcissists reject entirely. By numbing their emotions, narcissists protect themselves from feelings of deficiency associated with their fragile egos.
This emotional void leaves narcissists incapable of forming genuinely intimate bonds. For instance, the spouse who remains detached and unable to express love. Or the parent who shows no warmth or nurturing instincts towards their child. Their focus on themselves prevents narcissists from tapping into their fuller humanity. They are isolated within their grandiose facades.
12. Splitting
Narcissists frequently engage in “splitting” - a dysfunctional coping mechanism that categorizes people as either all good or all bad. There is no middle ground. Narcissists often idealize new people in their lives, lavishing them with praise. But once the smallest perceived flaw or criticism emerges, they rapidly switch to devaluing that person, casting them out of favor.
This black-or-white thinking helps narcissists shield their egos from emotional nuance that would shatter their fragile self-image. For example, the toxic friend who frequently cycles through new best friends, believing each one is perfect until the slightest offense turns them into enemies. Splitting allows narcissists to avoid complex human emotions.
13. Lacks Meaningful Relationships
Despite the narcissist’s constant need for validation from others, they are largely incapable of forming genuinely meaningful, intimate relationships. Their connections are often superficial, focusing entirely on how other people serve their own needs. They see people as tools for ego gratification, not as individuals with their own feelings and desires.
This prevents narcissists from experiencing true emotional closeness. For instance, the narcissistic partner who seems charming at first but is unable to reciprocate empathy or affection long-term. Or the narcissistic family member who remains self-involved and distant at all gatherings. The narcissist’s extreme self-focus blocks their capacity to care about others in a sincere way.
14. Secretly Vulnerable
Beneath their grandiose, superior facade, narcissists are secretly quite emotionally vulnerable. Their exaggerated self-image belies an empty inner void and fragile sense of self. Deep down, the narcissist feels inadequate and ashamed. This is why they are so hypersensitive to any perceived slights or criticism. Even minor challenges feel like threats to their entire sense of self, which is so precarious.
For example, the arrogant CEO who erupts in rage over a small mistake made by an employee. Or the famous influencer who sues anyone who critiques them online. The narcissist's outsized reactions reveal just how delicate their ego truly is. They lash out to defend the false mask shielding their vulnerability.
15. Self-Loathing
Though narcissists clearly hold themselves in very high regard, they also harbor immense self-loathing deep down. Their grandiose posturing conceals a fundamental hatred of the real self that feels defective, worthless, and flawed. The narcissist's false self is a defense against this painful shame.
This is why narcissists are so insecure and fragile, reacting strongly to any perceived imperfection. Their exaggerated self-love masks extreme self-hate. For example, the vain person constantly criticizing their appearance or the abusive partner who calls themselves worthless when drunk. The narcissist despises their true inadequate self.
16. Addictive Personality
Narcissists frequently struggle with addictive behaviors like substance abuse, gambling, sexual promiscuity, and compulsive shopping. These addictions provide a quick hit of the validation, excitement, and distraction that narcissists constantly crave due to their fragile inner selves.
For instance, the narcissistic celebrity dependent on drugs or alcohol to maintain their charismatic facade. Or the narcissist who escapes into pornography, affairs, or shopping sprees to regulate their shaky self-esteem and chronic emptiness. The emptier a narcissist feels inside, the more prone they are to addictive behaviors.
17. Dishonesty and Deception
Lacking empathy and morality, narcissists often have no issues deceiving and lying to others for their own gain. They frequently twist truths, misrepresent situations, or sell themselves based on total falsehoods. Narcissists believe their own lies and feel entitled to mislead people.
For example, the narcissistic job candidate who exaggerates credentials on their resume or makes false claims of responsibilities. Or the narcissistic friend who distorts stories to make themselves look better. The narcissist's ego-driven quest for validation enables their deceitful tendencies. They feel justified manipulating facts to serve their agenda.
18. Exploits Sympathy of Others
Narcissists are highly skilled at eliciting pity and sympathy from others, often portraying themselves as victims to manipulate people's compassion. They spin tales of woe to make people feel sorry for them, gaining attention and resources without having to offer anything in return.
For instance, the narcissistic family member who guilt trips relatives into lending them money during fake crises. Or the narcissistic coworker who constantly bemoans minor illnesses and setbacks to avoid work responsibilities. These calculated pity ploys allow narcissists to exploit kind-hearted people for their own selfish purposes.
19. Oversteps Boundaries
Believing they are more important than others, narcissists frequently overstep relational and social boundaries. They see themselves as exempt from typical rules of respect, so they often exploit people's trust or take liberties they haven't earned.
For example, the narcissistic friend who helps themselves to your possessions without asking, raids your fridge, or shows up unannounced. Or the narcissistic partner who flirts with your friends, asks invasive questions, or pressures you sexually. To narcissists, social norms and personal boundaries are mere inconveniences standing in the way of their whims.
20. Rages When Rejected
When narcissists face rejection, perceived abandonment, or loss of admiration from those they depend on for validation, they often respond with extreme rage and thirst for vengeance. Their fragile egos are unable to handle even minor blows to their exaggerated sense of self-importance. Rejection poses an existential threat.
For instance, the narcissistic ex who stalks and harasses their former partner post-breakup, unable to let go. Or the narcissistic coworker who sabotages projects and spreads rumors about teammates who refuse to praise them. This explosive rage in response to narcissistic injury reveals just how delicate and unstable the narcissist's grandiose ego truly is.
In Conclusion
Recognizing patterns of narcissistic behaviors like entitlement, exploitation, and manipulation allows you to identify narcissists and protect your peace. Though narcissism exists on a spectrum, the more extreme forms can be highly damaging and abusive to those around them. It is important to set firm boundaries against narcissists’ toxic behaviors whenever possible. With self-awareness and proper precautions, one can mitigate the turmoil caused by dealing with the narcissists in their lives.
