How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone: A Comprehensive Guide

The Truth About Being A Hopeless Romantic: 7 Signs You're One And How To Find Balance

How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone: A Comprehensive Guide
How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone: A Comprehensive Guide

Are you the type who dreams of fairy tale love and "happily ever afters"? Do you put your partners on a pedestal, believing each new person might be your soulmate? If this sounds like you, you may be a hopeless romantic.

Hopeless romantics long for an idealized, perfect love. But this romantic idealism can sabotage real relationships. Understanding the signs you're a hopeless romantic can help you find balance and healthy love.

What Is A Hopeless Romantic?

A hopeless romantic is someone who holds unrealistic, idealized expectations for romantic relationships. They believe in fairy tales and "love at first sight." Hopeless romantics seek perfection, passion, and completion in a partner.

As psychotherapist Tina Tessina describes, hopeless romantics "spend a lot of time looking for and dreaming about the perfect mate." They imagine their soulmate will sweep them off their feet and fulfill their every desire.

In essence, hopeless romantics yearn for an enchanted love story. They crave magic, excitement, and bliss in relationships. But this dreamy idealism causes problems when applied to real-world dating.

How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone: A Comprehensive Guide
How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone: A Comprehensive Guide

7 Common Signs You're A Hopeless Romantic

Wondering if you might fit the hopeless romantic profile? Here are 7 core signs:

1. You believe in "the one"

Hopeless romantics wholeheartedly believe in finding "the one" - a perfect soulmate who will complete them. They seek a once-in-a-lifetime connection, convinced someone is their missing puzzle piece.

Realists take a more pragmatic approach to relationships. They know even compatible partners won't be perfect. But hopeless romantics hold out for a mythical "one."

2. You idealize new partners

When starting a relationship, hopeless romantics tend to idealize new partners. They focus on the other person's positive traits, overlooking flaws.

Hopeless romantics imagine each new date could be their soulmate. They fall hard and fast, wanting the fantasy of perfection to be real.

3. You crave constant excitement

For hopeless romantics, relationships should always be full of passion, electricity, and giddy excitement. Mundane moments or routine don't fit their fantasy ideal.

So hopeless romantics constantly seek thrilling dates, new adventures, and signs of intense chemistry. They expect daily fireworks, even after the honeymoon phase ends.

4. You believe love conquers all

"All you need is love." This is the hopeless romantic's creed. They believe love is enough to overcome any obstacle.

To hopeless romantics, practical issues like mismatched lifestyles and values pale in comparison to true love. In the fairy tale, love conquers all.

5. You give too much in relationships

Hopeless romantics tend to put partners on a pedestal. They give endlessly to make the relationship magical.

But this one-sided dynamic drains hopeless romantics. And it enables partners to become complacent and entitled. Healthy love requires mutual caretaking.

6. You fear being alone

Hopeless romantics dread being single. They jump from relationship to relationship, fearful of loneliness.

Instead of learning self-sufficiency, hopeless romantics believe a partner will complete them. Being single means facing an empty hole in their fantasy.

7. You obsess over flaws in relationships

When reality falls short of perfection, hopeless romantics grow anxious and depressed. They obsess over every flaw in a relationship.

Healthier individuals take imperfections in stride. But the hopeless romantic's quest for ideal love leaves them dissatisfied.

Why Hopeless Romanticism Ruins Relationships

The hopeless romantic views relationships through rose-colored glasses. But this unrealistic perspective sets you up for disappointment. Here's why this mindset sabotages real love:

  • You overlook red flags - Idealizing partners makes you gloss over serious flaws, like addiction or narcissism. Infatuation blinds you to warning signs.
  • Your standards are too high - Expecting constant excitement and perfection strains real relationships. Your standards become impossible to meet long-term.
  • You lose yourself - Hopeless romantics mold themselves to fit a fantasy. But becoming a love martyr leads to unmet needs and burnout.
  • Love feels conditional - When based on fantasy, love seems conditional on perfection. But real love accepts each other, flaws and all.
  • It leads to codependency - Hopeless romantics depend heavily on partners for validation. This emotional reliance leads to clinging and control.

The hopeless romantic clings to an unrealistic ideal rather than nurturing real-world love. Their dreamy fantasies backfire when applied to imperfect human relationships.

How To Balance Hopeless Romantic Tendencies

If you identify as a hopeless romantic, don't despair. You can still have healthy relationships. Here are 5 tips to find balance:

1. Separate fantasy from reality

Be aware when romantic fantasies creep in. Enjoy fairy tales as entertainment, not a relationship blueprint. Appreciate partners for who they actually are.

2. Look for green flags, not just red flags

Notice positive traits in partners too, not just flaws. Mutual understanding and respect are green flags for healthy relating.

3. Focus on emotional intimacy

Go beyond the initial excitement to nurture true intimacy. Share feelings, be vulnerable, and provide mutual support.

4. Have your own full life

Don't rely solely on a partner for happiness. Keep developing your own interests, friendships, and goals.

5. Accept imperfections

Let go of the myth of "the one" or a perfect match. Accept each other's quirks and shortcomings with compassion.

The first step is recognizing unrealistic romantic fantasies. From there, you can manage these tendencies and create true partnership.


Hopeless romantics dream big. But their yearning for fairy tale love often sabotages real relationships. By spotting warning signs and balancing romantic ideals with reality, you can still achieve lasting love.

With self-awareness, you can enjoy fantasy as entertainment while creating something better - an imperfect, human love. One that celebrates each person fully, flaws and all. This takes work, but the rewards are real magic.

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